Thoughts.

I have a very strong thoughts.
And in some ways, it empower and control me.
I will control my thoughts.
And in return, I will control my Mind, Soul and Emotions.

Self-Discovery Journey / 3rd Week

I forgot that Life is not about how much you have achieved,
It is about how much you have given.
I fall.
I cried.
I picked myself up.
I fall again.
I picked myself up again.
I got lost along the way.
I got back on the right track.
I got lost again.
I got back on the right track again.
I forgave myself.
I moved on.
And I could have not done it without anyone of you.

3rd Week has past.
GPA 4.0 is like hard to get.
C’mon Iszwan, stay focused.
There is something about her.
That I cannot describe in words.
She make me feel secured and in some ways, great to be myself.
She is definitely the most beautiful being I have ever known.
No, actually my mom and late-grandma is the most beautiful being,
Okay shut up.
Stay focused pls.
Hur Hur.

GPA 4.0 / Acknowledgement

My GPA has fallen from a marvellous 3.6 to a meager 3.2
This is not awesome.
I have done my calculation, I will get atleast 3.8 for the next 3 semesters.
And I will make it to SMU.
So I’m gonna paint my wall and scribble ‘4.0’ to tell myself that if I ever want to make this world a better place, chase my dreams and woo the girl of my dream, first I must have a degree.
Only with knowledge comes opportunity.
And I have acknowledged myself that I deserve this opportunity.

Emotions have gotten the better of me.
It has crushed and stamped me and put me into a train of emotional state.
It all started when I got rejected for comm.
I was so hard on myself, I thought I was weak and it was the end of everything.
And the emotions kept accumulating and it got better of everything.
For the past one year I felt that whatever I do, it was never enough.
I kept pushing myself, I had to be the best in whatever I do.
And I crumbled to that pressure.
The most important thing I failed to do is to acknowledge myself, that whatever I have achieved is the best to my ability.
All these is just a mighty vicious cycle that I have put myself into.
I will set high expectation on myself.
Then I will push myself to the limit.
If I don’t get the expected result.
I will continue being hard on myself.
And now I feel that I have fallen to the lowest point ever when I look at my GPA.

*Breath in. Breath out*
It’s not the end yet, like I said I have to get 3.8 for the next 3 semesters.
And I think I can do it.
If I can top my school before, I can top my whole cohort next sem.
It feels a lot better after I acknowledged myself that I’m very awesome.
I don’t have to be the best, what I can be is to be the best that I can be for the people around me.
And Yes, I think I can.

“Your attemp may fail, but never failed to attemp once more.”

I heard this before, and it just blew me away.

Getting Stronger.

It just pondered on me today – how strong can I be?
“We can be as strong as what we want to be.”
No. I don’t think so.
It is a cliche being overused, to make us feel better.
We don’t get stronger by just thinking that we are strong.
Sorry, I am not Hercules.
God gives us brain no to just think with it,
but to make decisions and act upon it.

There is one word that I could think of that make us stronger.
It’s RECOVERY.
You know when we go gym carrying those heavy weights,
just to break our muscle fibres.
It is from the recovery process, that our muscle grow stronger with time.
And as a person, we become stronger through the downfalls and tought times that we experienced and recovered along the way.
We fall, we cry, we get back up on our feet,
move on and start afresh.
We learn through experiences, and it make us stronger.
Life is hard, we mustn’t make it harder for ourselves and the people around us.

Thats why I’m a true Outward Bounder, are you?

Email

So I spent half of the day studying.
Reading about Web Development.
I’m awed by the development of the web since its existence.
What I see in front of me is a big giant obstacle.
It wil take a deep conviction from me to make a big difference.

I deleted most of my emails.
I had 3000 emails, most from facebook.
A couple from NPOB.
I still have the first ever mail that I got from NPOB.
I never deleted any one of them.
So I thought maybe I would put them all into one separate folder.
In the end, I have 200+ email from NPOB.
It’s really heartening to read them.

There were those funny ones.
Like Jewel’s first ever mail to everyone about our first Sentosa gathering.
There were those nice ones, that give you support.
You know like mid-sem email, to cheer you for your exam.
And there was also sad one.
The one that you got rejection sort of.
Hmmm. What a journey really have been.
I never regreted any moment of it.
And the next many months to come, will be even awesome for me.

Everytime I closed my eyes

Click the link

I’m gonna sing this on my wedding.
For that one person who,
I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Hahh! I thinking too far already
But at the end of the day everyone wants to be Loved.
To Love is nothing, To be Loved is something, To Love and Be Loved is everything.

I dedicate this to all my closed ones.

“Every time I close my eyes I thank the lord that I’ve got you…”

Faith.

“Neo is doing what he believes he must do.I don’t know if whathe’s doing is right. I don’t know if he’ll reach the machine city.And if he does, I don’t know what he can do to save us.But I do know that as long as there is a single breath in his body, hewill not give up.”
– Matrix

It’s all about putting one’s faith into someone so dearly :D

Holding On

Beautiful song.
Keep holding on to the things you believe in.
We see ourselves,
are we not fortunate?

“What is it you seek?” asked the Master

“Life,” was the reply.

Said the Master, “If you are to live, words must die.”

…When asked later what he meant, he said, “You are lost and forlorn because you dwell in a world of words. You feed on words, you are satisfied with words when what you need is substance. A menu will not satisfy your hunger. A formula will not slake your thirst.”

-Anthony de Mello, SJ

Emotion

I don’t feel like talking anymore.
7 months ago, everything was so much better, and nothing hurt.
Everything is such a mess now,
makes me want to study less.
C’mon get you act together.
There are 6 Billion people.
If those people who are making this world worse are not resting,
then why am I resting and waiting for another day to come.

Starhub

Yes.
The title says it all.
I’m back for 6 weeks.
Like what the old-folks used to say.
Pray for the best, Prepare for the worse.