Thank You

Thank You for ruining my day.
For laughing at my aspiration, goals, belief or whatever You think worth mocking at, all this while.
I’m hurt like fuck.
You think its fucking funny.
I think its not.
This is a fucking waste of time.

Monday blues

It’s Monday.
I dont really like Monday for many reasons.
I’m thinking now what should I do next month.
Maybe I should think about this week first, before next month.

I’m lacking some sense of urgency.
I’m less inspired than I was 6 months ago.
I realised that I’ve lost 1kg.
My jokes are getting dull.

Are these symptoms of indifference?

Feel whole a lot better

I’m trying to stay as Positive as I can be.
I don’t do sadness.
What used to be sadness then,
have now turn into regrets.
I have created a huge mess.
I just feel like a loser all over again.

I have clocked in 8 straight days of work.
Sometimes I asked myself.
Why work so hard?
Do I need the money?
I think I know why.
Somehow it just made me feel much better whenever I kept thinking about the reason why I’m not in the comm.
Atleast I know I’m as busy as the rest.
This way I won’t feel left out.

Am I being irrational and stupid?

Bad Romance

So first week has officially ended.
And the conclusion of CT is.

A+

A+

A

C

Sometimes, life just missed by a little bit.
And I have to accept that second semester poly life in OB wouldn’t be as same as the last one.
Anyway for a start, the new comm did a tremendous job.

” The door is always open, just that you are closing the door “     – Wei Kai

Sigh

I just learnt today that the Diploma plus is a 3 semester course.
I thought it was one semester only.
This is stupid.
Am I allowed to be sad and angry.
Yes.
and No.
Can I say this is the worse mistake I’ve ever made.
Yes.
and No also.

what doesn’t kill you make you stronger

Hey world.
Happy new year.
It has been a good year for me.
Just a few remnants about my 2009.

• 5 months at Starhub
• School is now cool
• Met lots of great wonderful friends in Outward Bounders
• First time get to experience tonning
• Gone to lots of camp
• First time hitching a ride (You should try)
• First time becoming a GL
• Found a new passion
• Go Hari Raya with ex-primary schoolmates
• Finally get to go to OBS
• Made a speech in front of school directors (:
• Volunteered in quite a number of marathon
• First time celebrating Christmas

If my 2009 was recorded as a movie, I’d play it over and over again and dont want to get on board 2010.
But life has its limitation.
It has not playback, it must go on.
I don’t know if 2010 would be a better one.
I had expected it to be a good/challenging year.
But I guess things wont be like what I had planned.
Just feel sorry for myself.

One thing for certain, that life just gets better
and it’s always been like that.
I just watched a movie.
It was a story about a guy who was a victim of bully and abused during his childhood.
He turned out to be a very successful positive person and was very much in love with a beautiful girl but didn’t have the courage to propose to her.
After a few series of events, the rough childhood that he had just came back to him one day.
He was consumed with so much anger and revenge
that he became a totally different person
and lost everything that he had worked hard for.
The ending was sad.
Let me quote from the movie which I find it very awe-inspiring -

“If everything in our life is so effortless and simple then we won’t treasure it because it’s so easy to achieve.”

Unbelievable.
This is quite a long post.
I guess it sum up what I feel about my 2009.
Forgive me if I’ve done anything unintentionally wrong.
Goodnight sweet people.

Failure

It all came back to me.
The emotion and reason.
I have lost so I should just admit defeat.
Don’t let the ego get the better of me.
But don’t I deserve a consolation atleast?

Parts and Parcel

I studied like mad for the first 3 papers.
For the last paper, all I did was just brief through the slide.
I’m guilty.
Okay, time to read more books and get a perfect GPA.
I know I can.
This part of my life is called Stupid.

I have lined up a few things for myself during this holiday.
A new Plan, I suppose.
Just me and myself, nothing more.
Good luck to me.
And this part of my life is called Moving on.

” One more time. “

Best of You

“I’ve got another confession my friend
I’m no fool
I’m getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist, or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in, I refuse”

- Foo Fighters

Sigh

It’s foolish to be clouded with emotions and thoughts.
How long has it been?
3 weeks?
4 weeks?
I’ve wasted so much time.
Where did it go wrong truly.